It’s Okay To Be A Little Broken

Let your friends be a little broken. Support them and love their strengths.

You know, it’s okay to be a little broken. We all know this. We all crave this. The world wants real, authentic people, right? They want to have a human experience with you. So you give in. You resist the urge to stay private. You let the world in. You show your broken pieces. What does the world do?… It tries to fix you. You didn’t need to be fixed you only wanted to share, to be authentic and raw. Now here you are feeling like you have to somehow need to defend your raw human moment. STOP THAT SHIT.

Stop it. You DO NOT have to defend a dang thing. It’s okay to be broken! Recently, I shared a list of “thoughts” on my InstaStory. This was a task from my Noom program. (Side note: Noom is amazing and I am shamelessly plugging it right now. I lost 5 pounds in the first week. It heals your body, mind and soul. Amazing nerd stuff in there!) I hadn’t planned on sharing the list. It was pretty raw. Lots of really deep seeded insecurities were on that list. Yet still, I kind of felt like I needed too. I felt like people really needed to hear it. I felt like someone could really relate to it. So I posted it. Truthfully, I was hoping to reassure anyone else having similar thoughts. Just to say, Hey, we are all a little broken and it is okay.

Instead, I got lots of messages of people asking me if I was okay. A few even offered to help in someway. In most cases I thought it was sweet and it gave me the opportunity to then ask them how they were feeling. We were able to have great conversations and connect on a level. It was exactly as I had hoped the post would connect me with my community. However, there were still several that really pissed me off. They came from this place of needing to help me or “save me”.  But I just want to be a little broken. I don’t want to be saved.

So I started thinking about how I support people that expose their broken pieces. I thought long and hard and realized that I tend to tell them how strong or amazing they are. For me this comes from a dear friend saying just that during a really hard time in my life. I was struggling with a difficult situation that was out of my control. The only piece I could control was how I responded to it all. My friend knew this and instead of trying to fix me she would let me vent and then tell me I was so strong. She boosted the piece of me that I needed to battle my way through the difficult time. Ever since then I have tried to do the same.

Of course there are some people who are really asking for help. They are in a very dark place and they need an arm to lift them up or a shoulder to cry on. But even then, I would venture to guess building someone up until they are ready to talk to you is better than telling them what they need. We all work through our darkness differently. As a good friend you have to be aware of where someone is in their journey through the darkness.  Some people are deep in it and need pulled out and some people are on top of it looking down observing it as they discover ways to truly overcome it.

We have to remember not everyone needs to be saved. Often times we need to support more than anything. We need remind each other of what makes us beautiful humans. Somehow, and I don’t necessarily have the answer, we need to differentiate from someone screaming for help and someone sharing to help others and truthfully help themselves a little too. Can our broken bits be potentially damaging to ones mental health?… Um, duh. We aren’t talking about rainbows and ponies here.  But that is what makes this whole human experience thing beautiful. So let’s try to support each other and remind ourselves that it’s okay to be a little broken. I mean truthfully we are all a little broken and that’s okay.

Find The Magic In Your To Do List

To Do lists are supposed to keep life perfectly organized, right… Yeah, okay. Rarely is life ever perfect. So why do we expect our days to be any different. Every night we sit in bed and map out this epically productive day. For me it looks like me picking my top three things to accomplish, I write out my daily must dos, a few should dos and sometimes I even block schedule. Yeah right, I never block schedule. So not my thing. I am sure y’all do something very similar. We do all of this with the naiveté that I will get it all done. But like, let’s be real… We are setting ourselves up to fail. But what if we didn’t have to fail? What if we instead made magic! So maybe the answer to a fabulously perfect day is to write in pencil with a giant eraser and never be afraid to use it to create magic…

So let’s break this down. So it’s the night before your epic day. You’re sitting in bed and you’re creating your to do list. Now, I try to have a small list of 5 items that I make sure I do everyday. Things like… listen to a podcast, practice yoga, one hour prospecting, spend five minutes with God. Things like that. These are things that I know without I will lose my motivation and happiness. I even have a one-page checklist that details out exactly what that one hour of prospecting looks like. I know it seems like over kill but for me it keeps me on track. You need to do some soul searching and figure out what your list of everyday must dos looks like. What do you need to do to keep the happy alive in your life?

The real meat and potatoes of To Dos are your top three. These are the most important daily nuggets that will bring you one step closer to your goals. These goals may be business related but don’t have to be. To get really clear about what my top three goals are I love using Push Journals. They chunk your goals into three month nuggets and they guide you to whatever area of your life needs the most attention. Maybe it is your career or your spiritual well being or maybe its your relationship. You just need to dig deep and go with whatever it is that is holding you back right now. What needs the most attention. Then you can create your goals. Once you have your goals you can create your daily three that will help you to accomplish those goals. But make sure to keep your daily three small and realistic. Keep them attainable. Push Journal has a fantastic step-by-step guidebook and YouTube video to get you goal setting like a champ. And, y’all, this is in no way an ad for Push Journals. I don’t get paid or get free goodies. I just really freaking love them. They really help keep me focused on my goals and encourage me to really dig deep into my life and hone in on the area that needs the most attention.

So you’ve created your personal Honey Do list, if you will, and you’ve had a good night sleep. It’s the next day. You wake up and do what you can but as the sun comes up you realize it is the perfect day to take the family fishing. But you have this list. You have your everyday must dos to be happy, your powerhouse three and of course your extra little errands and nuggets to get done for the day. So it is kind of a long list. But that fishing hole is really calling your name. What do you do? Well, my love, you make room for magic.

First things first, decide what absolutely must, no and ifs or buts, get done today. Be totally honest with yourself. It doesn’t all need done today. Remember some of those things you do to keep happy can be replaced by a moment of magic. So now that you have your tiny list of non-negotiables, it is time to decide which if anything can wait until tonight while you are laying in bed. Now you have a solid list to work with. Before the rest of the fam wakes up you have to hustle your little butt off to get your must do nows done.

Now that those are checked off I want you to take your big eraser and go to town on everything else. You can keep the things you are going to work on late tonight but everything else must go. If you block schedule, erase it all and fill in those blanks with one simple word… MAGIC. Because that is what you are now doing. You are making magic.

As we journey through this life it is so easy to get caught up in the hustle. We get caught in our checklists and To Do lists and our blocks. But think of all the amazing magical moments we miss out on when we focus only on our lists and blocks. The point is… it is perfectly okay to chuck it all and spend a day fishing or watching the clouds roll by. Those magical moments are what keep life special. So seek the magic and go live it. Your To Do list can wait.

Pet Evacuation Plan

An evacuation plan is a necessity for every home, especially if you live in an area where fires, earthquakes, hurricanes, flooding, and other disasters are a possibility. I am sure you created an evacuation plan for your home and practice with your kiddos. But… raise your hand if you have created a plan for your furbabies? I will admit, I have a plan for tornados but not fires or such. Take these steps to add your pets to your evacuation plan.

Assign pet evacuation to an adult. Everyone should know how to act during an evacuation, and that includes assigning one parent or adult to the pets. This allows the other parent and the children to focus on their part of the evacuation plan, so there’s no confusion during a high-stress moment when time is of the essence.

Keep evacuation maps and pet carriers readily accessible. If you need to evacuate, you should know exactly where every important item is. If you pets require carriers, keep them in a place that you can access easily.

Practice your plan. Include your pets in your home evacuation drills. It’ll help you see how they will respond and make changes to your plan if necessary. Getting your dog out of a window may not be as simple as you think!

Be prepared in case you get separated from your pets. No matter how much you drill your evacuation plan, it’s possible that a dog or cat will run off while you’re focusing on keeping your family safe. A microchip or a GPS-compatible tag can help you find your pets once it’s safe to return to the area.

Morning Person 101

Are you a morning person? Yeah, me either. Ever wish you could become one of those rare morning people? Those people that are eager to start their day, feeling refreshed and energized. The ones that get in that morning workout or wrap up some work before many of us even hit the snooze button…for the first time. Wouldn’t it be something? The few days out of the year when I do actually wake up at 5am it has been awesome. I freaking love it…. So I have been on the hunt to figure out how to do that everyday. Here are the five things I have found out. Welcome to Morning Person 101.

  1. Get your body moving. Whether it’s a short walk around your neighborhood or a rigorous 5:30 am spin class, getting your blood pumping will help wake up your body Plus there are a ton of other benefits, like stress and anxiety reduction. Which will really help you stay awake all day… and make you want to keep doing this. I set out my workout clothes in front of my alarm. Can’t miss them.
  2. Let the light in. Whether natural or artificial, light tells your brain its time to get up and get going. If your room doesn’t have big ass windows where you can open the blinds up, get a sunrise alarm. Best thing ever! I really dig mine. It slowly brightens over a 30 minute period… just like a sunrise! Added bonus if you put it on the other side of the room. Putting your alarm clock next to your bed so you can swat it off is just asking for failure. Get yo ass up!
  3. Prep and eat breakfast. Actually eat it. I am right there with those of you who chose the skip breakfast, but it is key to perking up your energy in the morning. Gotta get that gut moving. Try going for a protein-focused meal. I am personally big on shakes. They get me the nutrients I need, high protein and they are fast, easy and great on the go.
  4. Feed your mind. Stimulate your brain and do something you enjoy first thing in the morning. Try reading a favorite book, catching up on the latest Skimm, doing daily meditation, or setting intentions. I am really into intentions right now. I have a journal and in the morning I am writing down my intention for the day. Then at night I journal about how it went…. or whatever it is I want to journal about.
  5. Cross it off. James Clear talks about giving ourselves instant rewards. So if you wake up early then you need to do something that says, “You go, boo! Look at you!” I put up a calendar on my wall and I cross it off. For me it’s as satisfying as crossing off your TO DO list.

Well, these are a few things I have found that I think could really work. Now… to put them to the test. Let’s stay in touch on this one, okay, y’all! Send me messages from time to time. I want to hear how it’s going! And create a little chat below! I think we all could you the support!

Till next time,

Live In The Moment

I really struggle to live in the moment.

I want so badly to live in the moment, I just, I don’t know, don’t. I’m notorious for getting stuck in my head. I  always seem to worry about the future, what people think, what I look like, how will I do xyz. Then the next thing I know I am reflecting on my day and I realize that I was over stressed about the silliest things, or I wasn’t paying enough attention to something or worse someone. Does this sound like y’all? Oh, good! I am so glad I am not alone.

Through reading, podcasts, word of mouth, maybe written in the sky a few times… we all know there are major benefits to living in the moment. Did you know simply living in the moment can ease fears, boost concentration and make you better in bed… Oh, yeah, baby! And that’s just a list of my favs! Living in the moment is incredible. I wish I had a secret answer to help me do it every moment of every single blessed day.

Just the other day I got home and cried as I reflected on how not in the moment I was that day…. This was a big day for us.

He got to fly for the first time and we got to go to the beach for the first time in a year plus. Obviously, I was so excited…. Ooops… Mistake #1. That night after reflecting I realized that my biggest blunder was putting way too much pressure on me and this amazing day.  Worse yet, putting too much pressure on my 2 year old son who has as much energy as the Tasmanian Devil. Perfection is the enemy of progress. And seriously who can live up to those expectations?! I can’t. I’m chugging along on the Mama Bear Hot Mess Express. I seriously dripped sweat the entire day. It was disgusting. And Duke pooped 4 times that day… like what the hell did this kid eat?! In conclusion… this day was just not destined to be “Perfect”

But guess what, it really was kind of perfect. We had so much fun and the next morning Duke woke up jabbering about how much fun he had. I got to spend the day exploring  and learning the world with my son… How more perfect can a day get?! Maybe if I would have stopped trying to be perfect I could have seen just how perfect everything really was.

So, maybe you have the whole perfecting thing down. What about stress? I think this is one that is probably the easiest to correct, yet the hardest to correct..I live with postpartum anxiety so overwhelmed has become my daily state of being. It haunts my every move. But I have learned a few tricks to help me cope… Keep in mind I do none of these well. If I did I probably wouldn’t be writing this post, bitching about how much I suck at living in the moment… I digress… My favorite nugget is reminding myself to take one bite at time.  I always say, How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time. I get overwhelmed and stressed out because I look at the entire picture instead of that first brush stroke. Sound familiar? Sometimes though, saying my mantra doesn’t help. Sometimes I just have to do something. Anything! Just do something to get started so I can see nothing is impossible and I can do all things.

What about trying to hurry hurry, hurry? Are any of y’all guilty of the hurry up express? Me! However, you can’t rush life. Everything has it’s own time. Anyone who knows me knows I am a Southern Belle at heart… but apparently I lived in NYC too long and I get the hustle speed real quick. Recently I have been trying to slow down. I am working really hard to be mindful of everything I do… even how quickly I walk. Slow down. It is amazing how simply slowing down fixes so much of my Can’t Live In The Moment Ailments. When I focus on slowing down I find the I don’t stress, I breathe more, I forget about being perfect. I just… well, live in the moment! So maybe that is the magic trick to get me to live in the moment. Slow Down.

I will say that from what I know about living in the moment and being present… it’s a life long journey. You don’t wake up one day and say “Yep, today is the day. I am going to always and forever live in the moment.” I am sure there are people out there that can totally do that… And well, they suck. I mean it, with love, of course. But for real… we have got to, absolutely must, give ourselves a freaking break. Let it go (Don’t sing the song… HA!). Live your life the best you can. Remember, a big part of living in the moment is not living in the past. Don’t dwell on not living in the moment yesterday. Shrug it off and keep going. This moment needs your attention.

I hope this was helpful… Since I am totally on the struggle bus here and I am sure many of y’all are too it would be amazing if y’all could share some things that you do to stay present. Help a girl out!

Till next time, muah!

Organize Your Life

Life is chaotic, messy and sometimes overwhelming.  I say sometimes, that’s funny, I mean every single flipping day! Let’s be real… life RARELY turns out as we plan. I am almost always late, or forgetting  to call someone back or well… anything and everything else that I was supposed to do. That is why I have my little organizational hacks to keep life on track. Well on track as much as life of a single, real estate, boss mom can be. Here are my tops:

CRM (Contact Management System

For those not in the business world this may be foreign. Those of you in the entrepreneurial biz sphere you know we live and die by our CRMs. However, for me I have learned to leverage mine not just for business. Trade secret, I use mine for my personal contact management too. Hell yes I do! Okay, so let me break it down… Basically a CRM helps us to keep in touch with leads, clients, customers, etc. I use BoomTown so I can text, email, call, set To Dos (like mail cards), blah, blah, blah. All of this helps me connect. SO why not use it for those in my personal life too?! I use my CRM to remind me to call friends to grab drinks every so often, to send birthday cards, Check in on friends when they have been having a tough go of it… Pretty much anything that is important. I want people to know how much I love them… even if I have a horrible brain that never remembers anything. It has really helped me stay connected. Of course remember I said we live and die by them so when I don’t use it properly… whelp, shit falls apart and I become a total hermit. SO that sucks!

Push Journal

Not to promote a bunch of stuff but I can’t help it. I seriously love this shit. My next obsession is the Push Journal. It was created by the one and only Chalene Johnson (Side note: if you don’t follow her… um, you need to!). The Push is a cross between a journal, goal setter, and planner. It’s a whole lot of Boss. This is my fav planner because it keeps everything organized as far as my events go but it also keeps my To Dos focused on my goals. It helps me organize my goals and attack them in the most effective way possible. And if you’re in the business world it is structured in 3 month segments so you can push to achieve your quarterly goals. Plus I love the layout. I find it to be very helpful in the brainstorming process.

Clothes Bins

This sounds super basic. It really is. I can’t even lie. Every night I put Duke’s clothes in it for the next day. This is super helpful because I am not always the one who takes him to daycare so… I can’t guarantee that he will be handsomely styled everyday. But with my bins I can! For me, I don’t use a bin…my clothes are to complex for a bin… MmmKay! I have a hook on the back of my door and I plan my outfits on Sunday and hang them up. That way I don’t have to think so much. HA! I am totally serious. I get so stressed out about what I am going to wear so this eliminates all that stress and makes my mornings super quick and easy. As a total non-morning person, this is a blessing.

Water Jug

Water jug… stay with me, y’all! My last little organization nugget is a water jug. Drinking enough water is so so important. It helps you combat stress, acne, scaly skin and so much more. It is vital to our lives to get that water in our systems. I use the one gallon YETI. I carry that baby with me everywhere. I fill her up and make it my mission to drink every drop of it before the day ends. The YETI is nice because I spend a lot of time in my car so I need something that will hold up to the heat of the sun beaming in on my car. That baby keeps my ice water icy! At the end of the day I always pour that last bit thinking it will be hot. WRONG. Ice Ice Baby! Get one. You’ll love it.

SO that’s my list. I hope these are helpful… I will say, in my little opinion I think organization is most successful when it fits your life.  If it doesn’t fit seamlessly into your daily routine then it wont be helpful. It might even make you less organized. So play around with these and see what y’all like.

Y’all know I love to hear from you. So drop me a line below, Tell me what you thought of these hacks and def share some of your own tricks!

Cut Out The Noise

In today’s world noise surrounds us. Sometimes it is just noise… External things and chatter happening around us. Sometimes it is the drama that is a part of our everyday life and can engulf us… If we let it. So how do you shut it out and focus on you? It isn’t always easy, but it can be done with a little intention and creativity.

Noise comes in many forms from gossip to traffic to a soul sucking job. First thing you have to do is really understand what noise is to you. For each of us this is different. What may annoy me might make you laugh. Once you identify what is noise you can then begin to deal with it. So, understanding you is at the heart of living your best life noise free.

One of the easiest thing to do is simply cut out the drama and noise from your life. About a year ago I went on a super deep exploration of my life. I analyzed everything in my life and started cutting out the noise. I had a few friends that drained me. Whenever I would end a conversation with them I felt depleted and sometimes a little depressed or annoyed. So, I stopped talking to them. I didn’t confront them about what was going on I just stopped reaching out and always seemed to be busy… which isn’t a lie! I barley have time to see anyone, but my true friends totally understand and are completely happy with a phone call once a week or so. And let me tell you what… those friends, those conversations are insane! I end chats with them completely inspired and uplifted. It has changed my life and my daily behaviors like you would not believe… all because I cut out people who are no longer in the same headspace as myself. Some of them were toxic others were just small thinkers (which is completely okay!). They just aren’t right for me at this time and place of my life.

Sometimes we can’t cut out the noise completely. Sometimes we have to learn to live with it. Like traffic… you have to go to work. You have to leave the house… okay you don’t have to, but I highly recommend it. So, in these moments try to find another way to live with the traffic…. Did you ever think the traffic is the perfect opportunity for you to be more productive? I have a long commute and sometimes as a REALTOR® I have to drive a lot…. A LOT! So, I take that time to not get annoyed with the driving, but instead I take that time to listen to a podcast to inspire self-growth or I call clients that I need to call that day. By the end of my drive I am not anxious or annoyed at all…. I am actually super motivated.

There are a zillion ways to cut out or divert the noise… You just have to be creative and experiment with what works for you. Don’t get me wrong… the noise still gets to me sometimes, like on social media. Ugh. But I have learned not to fear the unfollow button!!! Especially on Facebook. It’s my best friend (did you know you and unfollow someone on Facebook and not unfriend them?! So no one has to know!!)

Do what you have to do to protect your happiness. This is your life and you only get one chance to live it. Live it with peace and noise free as much as possible. Whatever you have to do is important for you and the ones you live. So do it and Give Zero Fucks about it!

Protect Your Mental Health

Are you the warrior protector of your Mental Health?

 

This week I noticed my mental health is in the crapper. The past month has been really freaking rough for me. I have a super scary situation that I am living through and it is fucking with my mental clarity. Bottom line… I am scared. Do you ever go through moments like that? They can consume you if you let them. So it is SOOOO important to protect your mental health.

Sometimes we have control over the situations in our lives that freak us out… but let’s be real, most of the time we don’t. Most of the time it is completely out of our control. We are at the mercy of the Universe. And it seriously SUCKS! You are powerless… Well, kind of but not really.

You may be powerless over the specific situation that has you in knots but you are 100% percent in control of your mental health. You are the driver of your mind so it is insanely important to protect it, to take care of it, to give it love. This is how you get through the tough times in life. You take care of YOU!

Don’t get caught up in the crazies of life. Give your mind a timeout. Spend a weekend alone reading a motivational book, doing your favorite physical activity or maybe head over to a hotel and take the weekend for a power writing sesh. Do whatever you feel your mind needs.

The other important piece, maybe the most important, is to block out the bullshit! Cut it off! Don’t let in any negative vibes. You don’t have time for that shit. Think of it like your soul mission in life is to protect your mental health. You are a fierce warrior and you are not going to let any bad juju ruin your day, your week, YOU LIFE!

You will get through this rough patch… We will get through this. But we have to protect our mental health. So let’s make a pact right now that we will protect our mental health at all cost! No matter what no one and nothing are going to ruin our vibe. I promise, if we make our priority to be warriors for our mental well being then good vibrations will come our way! So let’s go warriors! It is time to conquer this little thing called life.