You know, it’s okay to be a little broken. We all know this. We all crave this. The world wants real, authentic people, right? They want to have a human experience with you. So you give in. You resist the urge to stay private. You let the world in. You show your broken pieces. What does the world do?… It tries to fix you. You didn’t need to be fixed you only wanted to share, to be authentic and raw. Now here you are feeling like you have to somehow need to defend your raw human moment. STOP THAT SHIT.
Stop it. You DO NOT have to defend a dang thing. It’s okay to be broken! Recently, I shared a list of “thoughts” on my InstaStory. This was a task from my Noom program. (Side note: Noom is amazing and I am shamelessly plugging it right now. I lost 5 pounds in the first week. It heals your body, mind and soul. Amazing nerd stuff in there!) I hadn’t planned on sharing the list. It was pretty raw. Lots of really deep seeded insecurities were on that list. Yet still, I kind of felt like I needed too. I felt like people really needed to hear it. I felt like someone could really relate to it. So I posted it. Truthfully, I was hoping to reassure anyone else having similar thoughts. Just to say, Hey, we are all a little broken and it is okay.
Instead, I got lots of messages of people asking me if I was okay. A few even offered to help in someway. In most cases I thought it was sweet and it gave me the opportunity to then ask them how they were feeling. We were able to have great conversations and connect on a level. It was exactly as I had hoped the post would connect me with my community. However, there were still several that really pissed me off. They came from this place of needing to help me or “save me”. But I just want to be a little broken. I don’t want to be saved.
So I started thinking about how I support people that expose their broken pieces. I thought long and hard and realized that I tend to tell them how strong or amazing they are. For me this comes from a dear friend saying just that during a really hard time in my life. I was struggling with a difficult situation that was out of my control. The only piece I could control was how I responded to it all. My friend knew this and instead of trying to fix me she would let me vent and then tell me I was so strong. She boosted the piece of me that I needed to battle my way through the difficult time. Ever since then I have tried to do the same.
Of course there are some people who are really asking for help. They are in a very dark place and they need an arm to lift them up or a shoulder to cry on. But even then, I would venture to guess building someone up until they are ready to talk to you is better than telling them what they need. We all work through our darkness differently. As a good friend you have to be aware of where someone is in their journey through the darkness. Some people are deep in it and need pulled out and some people are on top of it looking down observing it as they discover ways to truly overcome it.
We have to remember not everyone needs to be saved. Often times we need to support more than anything. We need remind each other of what makes us beautiful humans. Somehow, and I don’t necessarily have the answer, we need to differentiate from someone screaming for help and someone sharing to help others and truthfully help themselves a little too. Can our broken bits be potentially damaging to ones mental health?… Um, duh. We aren’t talking about rainbows and ponies here. But that is what makes this whole human experience thing beautiful. So let’s try to support each other and remind ourselves that it’s okay to be a little broken. I mean truthfully we are all a little broken and that’s okay.